Purpose Isn’t Found. It’s Practiced.

Love as commitment to showing up
February Series Part 3: Be Your Own Best Friend

At our age, we’ve been asked about our life, work, and purpose for decades.
And over time, those answers have changed.

Like me, you may have zigged and zagged.
Changed majors.
Taken early jobs that led somewhere expected — or someplace completely different.
We may have married. Had children. Or not.

Each shift quietly reshaped what our “purpose” meant.

For many of us, retirement arrived.
Children grew up.
Careers ended.
Life and love changed.

And suddenly, purpose felt like it evaporated.

For me, change was a constant early and late in life. Recruiters once told me I changed jobs too much — even though I was successful. It stung. But I was never without work.

Much later, I realized I was a fixer.

I was recruited to build something new or repair something broken. I did the work, solved the problem, and moved on. That fix was my purpose — even if I didn’t have language for it at the time.

When I “retired” at 61, that change turned into a four-plus-year sabbatical of full-time solo travel. People asked, What’s your purpose now?

The truth? There wasn’t one and I didn’t feel the need to define it. But there were many — discovered along the way.

Practicing Purpose

Purpose isn’t something we find once and keep forever.
It’s something we practice, flex, change and find.

When we remain interested and interesting we can find purpose or it finds us.

Practicing purpose means staying open.
Recognizing that our life experience — and yes, our age — has value.
Value to us, our family, our friends, our community.

Purpose isn’t assigned.
It’s found and chosen.

How, where, and when is entirely up to us.

Some of us retire into a far more unstructured life than we expected.
It can feel disorienting — until we realize it’s also an invitation.

Maybe you take an online or in-person class.
It sparks something — or it doesn’t.
You leave early, grab a coffee, and smile because… you can.

Our community has needs.
We have time.
Suddenly, purpose shows up for a few hours a week:

• reading to children or adults

• volunteering at a hospital and being grateful for your health

• teaching ESL

• helping where help is needed

Or maybe it’s simpler.
A local group meets once a month for breakfast. No agenda. Just companionship. A chance to check in.
Maybe we love writing or speaking and decide to learn something new — a blog, a video, a creative outlet. That was my “retirement” learning curve: fun, frustrating, time-consuming, and deeply satisfying.

Purpose, like opportunity, can find us.
Or we can decide to find it — and practice it.
Either way, we always have choices, the gift of time and how we choose to spend it.

February Series: Be Your Own Best Friend