Be Your Own Best Friend
Thoughts on love, connection, and choosing ourselves first after 60.
Part 1 · Retirement Isn’t the Problem
Love as movement, not a mood
For many women over 60, stepping into our last 30 years can feel surprisingly hard.
What I hear most often is:
“I don’t know what to do with my time.”
“It’s hard to make new friends.”
“I feel lost after retiring—after my partner died, or after divorce.”
What’s usually left unsaid:
“My identity was my job.”
“I never had to practice initiating relationships.”
“I’m afraid I waited too long.”
Before we do anything else—breathe.
Love yourself the way you would a best friend.
Self-love at this stage isn’t indulgence.
It’s being present.
Even if you don’t have one right now.
Even if that friend is imagined or idealized.
A good friend wouldn’t rush you.
She wouldn’t judge you.
She’d listen. She’d tell the truth kindly.
She’d want what’s good for you—even when it’s hard.
Sometimes loving yourself looks like:
cutting yourself some slack
listening without judgment
making decisions you know are right, even when they’re uncomfortable
asking for help—and receiving it
letting go of what no longer serves you
What I do know:
We don’t need a grand purpose.
We need a direction—and movement.
We have, maybe, three decades left.
They will go faster than the last one.
Let’s not spend them waiting.
For me, the shift came when I moved from working full-time to solo travel—for less. That became my why. I didn’t have a long-term plan. I didn’t know how long or where. Permanent or temporary? I had no idea.
What I did know was this:
Waiting for the “right time,” staying in work that no longer fit, or I had “enough money” kept me stuck—and strangely exhausted.
That’s where fear creeps in:
“Is this it?”
Health issues loom larger.
Watching the clock becomes routine.
Staying home gets too comfortable.
My decision was simple, not small: I sailed away on four back-to-back cruises to Mexico, thinking I might find a place to live there. Just stepping onto the ship was a mental & physical shift. I released my “stuff,” watched the sun rise and set over the ocean, and met fellow travelers—some are still friends today and helped me launch this chapter of my life.
Movement after 60 looks different for everyone.
Sometimes it’s big:
moving to a new community where you know no one
divorce or the loss of a partner
being forced to stop working
a health issue that stops you in your tracks
Sometimes it’s small:
a health change that requires a new rhythm
family needs that shift priorities without your consent
saying yes to one class, one group, one walk, one conversation
Thinking and waiting are not neutral.
The longer we stay still, the more inertia sets in—until stillness becomes habit.
At this stage of life, we’re defining new relationships:
with ourselves
with others
with time
with place
Retirement isn’t the problem — waiting is. A reflection on love as movement, showing up, and choosing momentum after 60.